Written by Kate King
Having love in your pocket is something I’m certain generations before smartphones would have dreamed of. That 80’s angst solved at the touch of a button, no more sitting on the newspaper box in the rain outside the record store. The ability to pick and choose who we would interact with based on their looks and a short funny bio would have seemed wonderful to other generations. The app launched in 2012 and has become an intense way of finding love, but mostly a hook-up. Originally, I’m certain tinder’s intentions were pure, and the search for love for many had come to an end and their pain was eased. However, many millennial users have since manipulated the app solely for a hook-up type arrangement. With very few between the ages of 18 and 25 wanting to commit, it has become sex at the touch of a button, as simple as that!
Although many may feel they’re as connected as ever, building their list of lovers and what not, there is no way they’re finding a true connection. Love is meant to be about affection, trust, and a mutual respect. Tinder has certainly cut out the middle man of getting to know someone and gets straight to the intimacy. If you meet up with someone on Tinder, you’re lucky to make it through a couple of hours without them having their hands all over you. People are scared to label anything. You become stuck in this endless cycle of “do they actually want a relationship, is this just sex…” and so on. There is almost an expectation of you to hook-up with someone if they invite you over to ‘hang out’…the oldest trick in the book. A code word used by many a player well before the realms of tinder.
The contradiction of Tinder is feeling connected in that you’re talking to five people at once... how social am I. Flirting with them, texting them sweet nothings, sending them raunchy photos while we do our laundry at home. And if you’re funny, it’s a sure swipe right because we all value this stand-up comedy humor that attempts to surpass the digital fourth wall. These promises in the bio’s, absurdly sexual or not, configure this person’s confidence, gives you an ‘idea’ of their supposed personality and gives this false sense of closeness. Us women create this completely unrealistic scenario of what our lives would be like with Nick, the 24-year-old funny bartender who’s brutally honest but have ‘integrity’, all the while knowing it would never happen but continuing to be self-destructive. And any woman who says she doesn’t over think things or create fake scenarios in her mind is lying. We all do it, and I have no doubt in my mind somewhere along the line, men do it too. This false relationship we create with this plethora of people lulls us into this false sense of belonging and being wanted. All the while, Nick is talking to ten other women, but he would never do that, right?
Most feel that tinder is the only way nowadays to find love or some strange form of it, but we’ve lost the need for effort. No one is going to send roses to your house or workplace as a sign of their affection when they can send an emoji, which we have been brainwashed to believe is just as special. The need for basic human interaction seems to be dwindling, particularly for millennials. I say we disconnect, meet people the ‘old fashioned way’. A little non-digital face time can only do us good. Or better yet, be single! This absurd idea can be just as nourishing as being with someone. Fall in love with yourself first. Tinder is outdated and will remain as such until someone develops a bigger and better dating app.